I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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