**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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