K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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