i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
