You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
