Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
