My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
