remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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