She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
