Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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