I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
