I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
