i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
