Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
