Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
