Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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