Don't you send me to vm
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
