she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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