Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize