Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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