Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
