i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
