Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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