Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize