Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
