I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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