The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
