can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
