Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize