you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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