Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I am available for nakedness
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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