we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize