I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
