I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
