I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
