I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
