naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize