some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
