He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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