i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
