that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize