We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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