He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
When are your genitals available?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
God I need to hump something, right now.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
