I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
