Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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