Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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