we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
