Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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