READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
