i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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