you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
