i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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