I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
