I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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