so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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