she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize