you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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