Its about making memories worth repressing
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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