Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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