i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
