do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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