Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
