Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
