Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
