I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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