do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
