My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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