dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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