there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
