never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
