Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
