my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
