HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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